2021/04/14

Side Ponytail

As I was getting ready this morning, I was looking in the mirror and reminded of a chubby thirteen year old  that wore a side pony tail with big thick glasses. She was tall for her age and had already gone through puberty in 5th grade.

She was unsure of herself. She was often teased and had few friends. But this girl loved to read. Her books really were her friends. She loved to read and get lost in the characters and story line.

As I looked back at those eyes in the mirror, I thought, “What would I tell this poor girl?” Would I tell her that she’s marry her sixth grade crush that teased her and called her Konan the Barbiarian? Would I explain that she’d make it out of Jr. High alive, but barely? Or that she’s end up having the most amazing life, even better than she dreamed? Or say nothing at all?

I came to the conclusion that I’m still that awkward 13 year old that yearns for attention and friends. I still love getting lost in books.

I still feel like wearing a side ponytail, though I’m grateful for contacts. I don’t know that we every grow out of ourselves.

That little glimpse was a good reminder of what it’s like to be  13 year old girl and how hard life is when you’re a teenager. It made me appreciate being 31, not 13.



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6 thoughts on “Side Ponytail

  1. I’m so grateful for this post. I feel the same way you do and I see Madeline going through some of the same issues I did (she’s only 8 — I am so scared for her teenage years!). I want to intervene so badly, but sometimes I think people have to go through their own experiences to grow.

    I love you Kathy and miss you tons!! I hope all continues to progress well for you and baby girl!!

  2. Great post! How cute that Jon was your 6th-grade crush! And I thought Pieter and I had known each other a long time. It is quite a realization when you realize that everyone else felt as awkward as you did as a teenager. I’m so glad to hear that you still sometimes feel like that 13-year-old, ’cause so do I!! Now just wait until Jonah is 13, and you realize that those junior high boys were just big KIDS and as clueless as we were!! It’s a whole other perspective.

  3. Oh I bet that is weird having your 13 year old go through all those weird moments. Yes, Jon and I have known each other since kindergarden.

  4. I can only imagine having a daughter and dealing with all those issues. At least it’s not the 80s, right? Thanks for all your love and support!

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